


take a temporary vacation

by angelicks



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji is a Good Boyfriend, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, Crack, Fluff, M/M, atsumu cries over a musical, daishou n tendou are a nightmare tgt, hq boys watching a damn horror movie, kuroken fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24161578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelicks/pseuds/angelicks
Summary: wherein shirabu enjoys roasting everyone, sakusa and daichi are tired of everyone's mess, tendou and daishou are a nightmare to spend time with, hinata, noya and tanaka are the group's disastrio
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou, Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou
Comments: 5
Kudos: 110





	1. Maybe, you're not such a hot rod

**Author's Note:**

> ray of sunshine - hinata 
> 
> nerd - kuroo
> 
> gremlin- kenma
> 
> ten outta ten - tendou
> 
> emotionally constipated brat - tsukki
> 
> precious bean - yamaguchi 
> 
> deadchi- daichi
> 
> i hate it here - sakusa
> 
> the only slytherin that matters - daishou
> 
> boss bitch - suga
> 
> crybaby1 - atsumu
> 
> hoshi ⛥ - hoshiumi
> 
> im lov yuu - noya
> 
> semi straight - semi
> 
> the only sane one here - iwaizumi 
> 
> seijoh's ace - oikawa
> 
> senpai of the year - tanaka
> 
> keojineun heart b-b-beat ppallajineunde neodapjanke heart b-b-b-beat - lev (pls don't ask)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kageyama tobio might be satan's favourite child, tendou is a relatable cramming college student, shirabu still hates everyone and kuroken being a tad bit gross with each other

**We're Like Peas and Pods :**

  
  


**ten outta ten :**

i haven't submitted my reqs yet, lmao rip 

**tobi0** :

show me where i asked 

**ten outta ten :**

(;｀O´)o look it's satan's favourite child

**ushiwakawaka** :

If I remember correctly, Bokuto made plans for the whole group this weekend? Everyone's coming so you better start working, Satori. 

**ray of sunshine:**

the way ushijima hasn't changed his name in this group chat,,,, 

**seijoh's ace:**

just seeing it pains my eyes 

**kenjiro** : 

close 'em. 

**nerd** :

hELP#&!) (!)? £! 

**kenjiro:**

no, die. 

**the better twin:**

im surprised shirabu doesn't have the nickname "nerd" here,, 

**kenjiro** :

shut the fuck up u piss colored haired boy

**the better twin:**

im?! #!)! (! im osamu whst the fuck

**seijoh's ace:**

lmao u mean @crybaby1

**kenjiro:**

what the fuck is that name even, so unoriginal and plain. 

**semi straight:**

ah, on today's episode of shirabu bullying everyone 

wherein everyone is atsumu 

**crybaby1:**

if only i was granted permission to change it i would 

i am _NOT_ a crybaby, by any means you mean hinata

**ray of sunshine:**

you wish 🤪

**hoshi ⛥ :**

you wish (2)

**crybaby1:**

????? 

**i hate it here:**

i wish i didn't have to witness you crying over heather chandler's death

**crybaby1:**

sakusa 😭😭🤚🏻

**nerd:**

HELPSJDJS

**yacult:**

if you and kotaro set the kitchen on fire, im disowning you.

**keojin** **eun heart b-b-beat ppallajineunde neodapjanke heart b-b-b-beat:**

kenma and akaashi are tapping various patterns on the table while kuroo is cooking 

**i hate it here:**

ok? 

**kenjiro** :

who the fuck are you 

**seijoh's ace:**

???? what's wrong with that 

**keojineun heart b-b-beat ppallajineunde neodapjanke heart b-b-b-beat:**

i believe they're nitpicking on us in morse code

**gremlin:**

you think keiji and i would learn the morse code just so we can talk shit about you and kuroo? 

**akaashi:**

you're Not wrong

**kenjiro:**

who the fuck is that 

**the only slytherin that matters:**

lev haiba, 

**i hate it here:**

i don't really wanna know why his name's like that, 

**nerd:**

wdym? rv's russian roulette perfectly fits him 

**ray of sunshine:**

#upset

**tobi0** :

do we wanna know why

**ray of sunshine:**

'm just vibin to amour plastique

damn the best songs are _always_

in the baguette language 

**gremlin:**

the only french song you've literally listened to 

was that tinie part in lana' s carmen :|

**ray of sunshine:**

y'all better stream nfr for a better life 

**senpai of the year:**

the volume here is astronomical 

**im lov yuu:**

periodt periodism periodically 

**deadchi:**

can you two please stop using slang words ydk the meaning of

and for the record, whoever changed my name,

i am _still_ thriving 

**boss bitch:**

barely 

**deadchi:**

suga >:(

**bo's coffee:**

ల(◕ ◠ ◕ )

**akaashi** :

what's wrong, kotaro? 

**bo's coffee:**

i wanted to talk abt the plans i made like ushiwaka said but then everyone started talking and i couldn't find the time to butt in :(

**kenjiro** :

you care about that??????? 

**akaashi** : 

alright then, what'd you want to say? 

**bo's coffee:**

we're gonna be watching a movie on saturday ˙ᵕ˙

**seijoh's ace:**

oh iwa-chan and i are in (∩˃o˂∩)♡

**kenjiro** :

why the fuck must they type like that 

**tobi0** :

ahfjejdjw fuzkxksksCmduckfjsj

**ray of sunshine:**

you good?? 

**tobi0** :

no what the fuckskejwjwj km litrally dyinfsj

**ten outta ten** :

based on my calculations:

━━━━━━━

┃ you should 

be ┃

dead by now┃

└━━━━━━┘

7 ┃ 8┃ 9┃ /┃

━┛━┛━┛━┛

4 ┃5 ┃6 ┃ + ┃

━┛━┛━┛ ━┛

1 ┃ 2 ┃ 3 ┃= ┃

━┛ ━┛━┛━┛

**semi straight:**

pls explain what goes on

**tobi0:**

so,,, i was lying on my bed

i was tossing m&m's in the air and 

tried to catch them

i threw one up close to the ceiling, didn't notice 

there was a spider and its cobweb attached to it and swallowed it 

_kenjiro left the group chat_

_i hate it here left the group chat_

**the only slytherin that matters:**

i—

**ray of sunshine:**

sometimes i still hear kageyama's voice yelling at me

**hoshi ⛥:**

honestly not surprised 

**satan's reincarnate:**

hello G*d's mistakes 

**the better twin:**

imma guess the chaotic events has summoned our moon goddess <33 

**satan's reincarnate:**

shut the fuck up miya

**ray of sunshine:**

hey tenten-kun!!! ପ( •̤ᴗ•̤ )੭ु⁾⁾

**ushiwakawaka:**

@tendoe

**ten outta ten:**

who the fuck @-ed me im fucking busy with school works

oh

o h 

HELLO :D

**crybaby1:**

ur fault for not muting this 

**ten outta ten:**

?? wdyw hinata 

**ray of sunshine:**

yk if i ever have a child im gonna name them eleven, 

**ten outta ten:**

huh?? 

**ray of sunshine:**

bc they're gonna be better than you ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

**ten outta ten:**

fuck you i fucking wasted my time on you for you to fucking roast me?! (!)! (

but ok go ahead

**the only slytherin that matters:**

so is kageyama dead yet

**satan's reincarnate:**

what are we watching anw

shouldn't we be deciding on that rn

oh also 

_kenjiro & i hate it here was added back _

  
  


**kenjiro** :

i don't disagree with your name, i hope you know that. 

**keojineun heart b-b-beat ppallajineunde neodapjanke heart b-b-b-beat** :

can we see something Wholesome!! :((((

**bo's coffee:**

not a bad idea! 

**yacult** :

wdym don't u have to deal with kuroken making out rn 

akaashi texted me and can't say im not surprised 

**the better twin:**

that's wholesome??!!??? 

**hoshi ⛥ :**

i just remembered that one time we were at an amusement park 😭 with sakusa, lev, semi and ushijima and a fucking clown chased us 😭

**the only sane one here:**

@oikawa what are u doing chasing out these poor souls

**seijoh's ace:**

i will Fucking hit u with a goddamned toaster and i won't bat an eye

**hoshi ⛥:**

i litrally thot that was my last moment on earth 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

**i hate it here:**

it might as well be for someone who can't spell correctly. 

**hoshi ⛥** :

fuck off sheldon cooper's son 

anw as inwas sayinf

I HATECLOWNS O HATE CLOWNS I HATE CLOWNS SM

**kenjiro:**

wdym this gc is the whole circus 🤹♂️ 

**im love yuu:**

tbh if a clown chased me i wouldn't mind,esp if it brought a knife. id def stand still and let them stab me, idc anymore yk. im broke, stressed and tired

**senpai of the year:**

can i be the clown 

**asahi:**

I Am Concerned !!

**deadchi** :

noya,,,, 

**im love yuu:**

and when i die y'all can just text me thru kenma's ouija board 😼🤙🏻

**keojineun heart b-b-beat ppallajineunde neodapjanke heart b-b-b-beat:**

bold of you to assume hinata and i will let you go alone 😤😤😤😤😤😤😤 what is happening to this friendship,,, it's crumbling 

**asahi** :

well that took a turn

**akaashi** :

i wouldn't mind watching any genre 

**bo's coffee** :

how about horror :D

**ushiwakawaka** :

im not opposing

**kenjiro** :

not bad ig 

**i hate it here** : 

im bringing my airpods with me inside 

**nerd:**

im in! 

**semi straight:**

cool 😼

**ray of sunshine:**

hey just thinking,,, kuroo can u tell kenma to log on 

**gremlin** :

oh what's up 

**ray of sunshine:**

can we use your ouija board to contact kageyama? 

**gremlin** :

why in the ever loving fuck would you request that

**keojineun heart b-b-beat ppallajineunde neodapjanke heart b-b-b-beat:**

OH MYFODODKDJSJS WHAT IF KAGEYAMA TURNED INTO SPIDERMAN 😭😭😭😭😭😭

**boss bitch:**

spidertobio

**seijoh's ace:**

nah p sure he's fine (꜆꜄ ˃ ³ ˂)꜆꜄꜆

**deadchi:**

would you stop killing e/o in your minds

**hoshi ⛥:**

you're one to talk 

**deadchi** :

:[

**i hate it here** :

none of you came to check on him? lmao phakes

**crybaby1** :

damn kageyama ain't no goody two shoes anymore

he's a whole ass goth boy 

swallowing spiders and shit

yk the next thing he could be doing is summoning satan 

**satan's reincarnate:**

im back 

**crybaby1** :

damn see

**kenjiro:**

no one asked <33 

**the better twin:**

my babey ugh <33 

**semi straight:**

excuse mE? 

**the better twin:**

oHGKDKSJS I WAS REFERRING TO SUNA 

shirabu, the Prince of Sincerity is all yours 

**kenjiro :**

from the bottom of my heart, fuck you you grandpa 

**gremlin** :

hate to break it to you but they both have gray hair 

kenjiro :

semi has the better hair >> annoying miya thing 

**crybaby1:**

*twin 

**kenjiro:**

*thing 

**nerd** : 

i hate how everyone shares a brain cell with their significant other except kenma & i

**yacult** :

fucking nerd

**gremlin** :

biased bitch 

**bo's coffee** :

AAAAAAAKAAAAAASHIIIIII :(

**akaashi** :

im omw home baby 

**emotionally constipated brat:**

what the fuck happened to my name

**precious bean:**

hello! tsukki and i just woke up from a nap! 

**kenjiro:**

hello! no omejskdksskdkanskdk

fucl you semi

**semi straight:**

pls stop bullying everyone 

**emotionally constipated brat:**

hinata im fucking coming for you, you're dead meat

i do not look like the smiling titan fuck you tanaka for giving him that idea, delete that post 

**senpai of the year:**

IM??????!!!

you figured??? (!) 6(6(£&!)(

**im love yuu:**

switch it back lmao 

**deadchi** :

can we pls live in peace

**ushiwakawaka** :

I'm sorry but the moment your teammates created this, the image of everyone getting along, acting mature and responsible has been set to flames and thrown outside the window. 

**keojineun heart b-b-beat ppallajineunde neodapjanke heart b-b-b-beat:**

oh 👁️👄👁️

let us live and act like teenagers you hags, including you, morisuke

**gremlin** :

LMAO 

**yacult** :

wha tthe fuck

**boss bitch:**

ah can we skip Fridays, im excited for Saturday <33 

**satan's reincarnate:**

that was extremely brave 

**hoshi ⛥ :**

damn we're getting to c more of the Russian's dark side 

hey, lev you're so tall,,, what do u even see up there

**keojineun heart b-b-beat ppallajineunde neodapjanke heart b-b-b-beat:**

everyone's flaws 

and kuroken back at making out again in the living room aight im out

i have my smores w me

akaashi fucking left me behind </333

**the better twin:**

lmaoooo can't saturday come alr,,, i just wanna hang out with my Bros ™ 

**the only slytherin that matters:**

osamu, you're literally not the better twin

**crybaby1:**

thank you, daishou 

**the only slytherin that matters** :

i had to drop off that package at your unit andw i fucking saw you making a tiktok with _where's my juul_ blasting in the fucking bg

_daishou sent a video clip_

**ray of sunshine:**

0_0

**the only sane one here:**

should've invited oikawa to make one with you, 

**seijoh's ace:**

AIFNSJSJSJS I CANT EVEN BE MAD IWA-CHAN, 

OSAMU WHA THEFUCKSKSJJAHAHAHAHAHAHAJAJABABABABABABAHABAHAHAHAHA 

**crybaby1:**

ah after a year they finally acknowledge my superiority over the gray haired rat <33 

**kenjiro** :

_kenjiro sent a voice clip_

you have to hear me and semi cackling over this dumbassery 

**bo's coffee:**

BRO 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 

icb i wasn't invited 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

**the better twin:**

Goddammit 

**satan's reincarnate:**

quite amusing yes

**the better twin:**

close your damn eyes 


	2. between sneezes and atsumu's banshee screaming

for the boys, it had been some sort of tradition to hang out altogether once a month. twice, if their schedules let them breath. this month, it was supposed to be a romantic tearjerker. men, forbidden love, set in the 90s, age gap, but they had decided to watch a horror film. suna was playing with the metal straw around his fingers while boredly looking at his glass of iced tea, next to him was osamu who was flushed a deep red because of tendou's cackling and daishou's poor imitation of his cursed tiktok video. while kenma had his eyes glued on his switch, completely ignoring the fry that kuroo was waving right in front of him, while oikawa was pestering iwaizumi. nothing out of the usual. 

they were the first to arrive and decided to grab a bite in one of their favourite diners within the mall, they were seated in the booth near the bathroom because one way or another they were gonna make a mess especially with tendou and daishou's presence, the two were perfectly chaotic as it was and if daichi's problem children arrived, they would probably end up getting banned. well, yaku had been devastated when lev was restricted from the older man's favourite health care shop, the Watsons. the lanky male ended up knocking each shelf like giant dominos because he insisted on grabbing the set of face wash on the top shelf for yaku. 

the rest of the boys arrived, kageyama under daichi's watchful eyes. sugawara with tsukishima, yamaguchi, the disastrio : tanaka, noya and hinata. the miya twins, sakusa, hoshiumi, semi, shirabu, and ushijima. 

the group decided to split up after buying tickets, kenma dragging kuroo with him to the electronics store, yaku offering daichi lev because the male needed to buy something at the Watsons without lev knocking something down. semi and shirabu went to check out a book sale, the disastrio accompanied by suna and the miya twins (jokes on them atsumu had encouraged them to do whatever ridiculous idea the three had in mind.)

lev ended up being babysat by the rest who went to buy snacks for the whole group. while hoshiumi was excitedly chattering with lev, kageyama sneezed loudly while sakusa was right beside him. sakusa's left eye twitched as he flinched away from kageyama who confusingly looked at him, tilting his head. 

"explain your sneeze," he glared at him, voice laced with authority. sakusa could swear to the gods that he heard hoshiumi muttering a "fucking sheldon cooper's reincarnate." under his breath as he and lev continued to walk ahead while kageyama was still at a loss for words. 

"so we're watching the weeping woman?" daishou asked just before they entered the cinema, with osamu munching loudly on his popcorn. akaashi nodded as he adjusted the bomber jacket that belonged to bokuto, while ushijima was explaining the plot to noya, yamaguchi and hinata.

"those who hear her death call during the night are doomed, she kidnaps children and once she realizes that they're not hers, she'll drown them. i mean, i'm not quite sure that's what i've heard—" ushijima hissed in pain as oikawa's fist collided with the back of his head, "don't spoil us goddammit." the boys filled in the pitch black room and daichi apologized to the people whose vision were blocked from lev, bokuto and kuroo. noya ended up tripping on his feet, fortunately for him, tanaka was carrying his bag of popcorn. a few trailers were playing as they finally sat themselves down, yaku sat at the front with lev trailing after him like a lost puppy. beside them were tsukishima and yamaguchi, the taller male sighing in relief as the rest of the boys sat behind them. 

kenma tried to get comfortable in the theater seats, kuroo chuckling at his wiggling. he showed his boyfriend his infamous shit eating grin, "why not just sit on my lap? warm and extremely comfy plus you get cuddles!" the smaller male hesitated before huffing and sitting himself on his boyfriend's lap, he could feel kuroo wrapping his arms around his lithe waist. bokuto was tugging on akaashi's jacket and pouted, "you wouldn't leave me when the scary part is on, right? i'll accompany you to the comfort room! you'll do the same right?" despite the darkness, akaashi could see the glimmer of hope in bokuto's eyes. 

"of course, kotaro. i won't leave your side." 

meanwhile, suna and the miya twins were sat behind yaku's row where osamu was halfway finished with his popcorn and the movie hasn't even begun playing. suna, however had a plan in mind and that was to pester atsumu with the dainty feather he found somewhere, tickling the boy's ear and enjoying how he tried to flee away from him. sitting in the back, ushijima was quietly explaining la llorona's backstory to noya, tanaka and semi while shirabu was uninterested and kept his eyes glued on the screen. sakusa was listening to frank ocean's album while hoshiumi was making bets with hinata, sat next to him was kageyama who also joined the bet. the first person who screams during a jumpscare has to go out the cinema alone and buy them snacks. the miya twins already agreed on joining, mainly osamu's idea because he had little left, atsumu taunted him and suna threatened to kick his ass out the theatre if he tried stealing theirs. 

"who in their right mind would bet something stupid like that when we're watching a horror movie?!" oikawa whisper yelled to iwaizumi's ear as he crossed his arms, his boyfriend stared at him and raised a brow, "just say you wanna join and quit acting petty."

sugawara turned to asahi who remained silent throughout the whole exchange, he patted his friend on the back only for him to let out a yelp. "ah!! suga!" asahi frowned and relaxed back in his seat, rubbing soothing circles on his own knuckles. 

"ah horror, honestly daishou do you think that our friends could stomach the gore we're about to witness?" tendou scoffed and rolled his eyes, pinching a kernel of popcorn between his fingers before popping it into his mouth. it wasn't anything close to gore per se but tendou being the little shit he was intentionally raised his voice a little higher, making sure that the disastrio heard him clearly.

daishou said nothing except a grumble of slight agreeance. he's rather surprised that he and satori get along quite along he doesn't really complain about the redhead's presence, not even the way that he has to deal with tendou's snark and attitude, and that way he ate his popcorn like a goddamn priss. sakusa groaned as he took the cap off his bottled iced tea, "i don't want to be around these blubbering idiots once the lights on, i don't even want to be around them now." 

"hey, the movie's about to start. i suggest you silence yourself." iwaizumi whispered from behind him before leaning back down in his own seat. the movie filled the large screen before the boys. 

it was going to be a long day. 

as the movie began, it flashed the faces of smiling, seemingly happy children holding hands, then it shifted to the next scene where a woman was drowning the child, a young boy watching in shock, hinata had his jaw dropped as kageyama tried to cover his eyes. kuroo wasn't even paying attention to the movie, he was trying to coax kenma into setting his switch aside, bokuto was commenting about how sad he was for the young boy while akaashi hummed in agreement. as the movie progressed, semi tilted his head and squinted his eyes at the protagonist, a woman, a social worker, he swore to himself that he watched a film where she was also the protagonist. 

"isn't that velma? like from the live action scooby doo?" shirabu asked as he leaned closer in semi's arms, the older male nodded and started to brush his younger boyfriend's hair with his own fingers. while the boys sat in the front were starting to cause a ruckus, lev was on the edge of his seat, teeth chattering while yaku tried to calm him down, tendou sneaking behind atsumu and giving him a scare to which daichi ended up scolding them for, 

"would you stop worsening each situation?" 

"oh fuck me gently with a chainsaw, do i look like mother theresa to you?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! chapter 2 took quite some time heeeh i have more unfinished wips and i've been thinking about editing all my other works waaah i hope you enjoyed this chapter! ⭐___⭐
> 
> 07/26/20 : i apologise for not being able to write the scenario any longer, i just.. writing down the whole experience quite drained me just by thinking about it, so i'm afraid this is the last chapter for this "crack fic" i could add more if i can but sadly i no longer feel like writing this <3

**Author's Note:**

> aaaah i hoped you had fun reading this chapter !!   
> kudos + comments are highly appreciated !!


End file.
